Hinchinbrook Shire..., Our Stories...

Struggles of a stay-at-home-mum during the Sugar Cane Harvesting Season

So I started writing this article on the 19th August 2019, when the Sugar Cane Harvesting Season had only been running for maybe two months in the Herbert River District, I chose to write a little bit about the lifestyle and the struggles I have as an impaired stay-at-home mum. But, the truth is, every mother, whether they are fully functional or not, whether they work or not, struggle.

My Nonno – Jack Aquilini…

I grew up in a household where it was the norm from the get go. The 2019 season will be my dad’s 40th season, I’m so ridiculously proud of him! I remember mum always taking us places or doing something fun with us – It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I started to understand that it wasn’t just for us, it was for mum too.

This season, my husband has had to push much harder to get things done. That means there’s little time for the boys and even less time for me. This season I’m not handling it very well, which makes me angry because I always knew what the season was all about. I knew that it was going to be hard, I just didn’t expect it to be this bloody hard!

I guess what I’m struggling with most is the lack of communication and conversation between my husband and I. By the time my husband gets home at night, winds down, spends some time with the boys, helps put them to bed, I’m tired…. Nobody likes a tired Aquo… She’s a snappy (for lack of a better word) b.i.t.c.h!

This has been a way of life for generations…

From right back when I could first understand the world, I knew that when the season runs, the wives become single mums. I don’t mean that in a bad way, the season is long hours, mixed with a lack of sleep, mixed with frustration, and the list goes on. The wives do everything with the kids, and that’s really hard work. Hats off to all the single mums out there! I don’t know how I would pull it off – and I have an absolutely amazing support system!

Yesterday I tried something I never had before – I took both boys to Mission Beach with my sister, I just thought about the boys, how much they would enjoy it – I didn’t think of myself and how much a big day like that isn’t the best thing for me. Today, I’m in so much PAIN! I also have the blackest rings under my eyes – My eyes have never been that black before! I’m just lucky my big boy went up to spend the day with Zia and I have an Au Pair here helping with the baby (who was up more than I would like to let on last night) who is teething next level.

I start to wonder what it would have been like if I didn’t have my accident, then I stop myself – Because deep down I know my accident was a blessing in disguise. It has made me appreciate my family and friends so much more as well as life in general. Who knows, living life in the fast lane, I may not still be here to tell my story if my accident didn’t happen.

Our big boy loves harvesting with his Nonno…

It’s not personal, on any level, but more times than not, that’s the way we let ourselves think. I’d love to think, ‘Oh there’s only 8 weeks left’ – haha I wish! not for us! Harvest finishes then the spraying starts. So really, a 6 month season turns into 9 or 10. I do love my own company, but there comes a time where those little voices in my head start to play off each other. Those feelings make me scared, angry, confused, defensive, negative – and I really really dislike being negative.

Sugar Cane Harvest is the only way of life I know, I have always loved it. I really don’t want something I’ve been so passionate about for so long be something I begin to dread. You know that song – wake me up when it’s all over… yeah that’s where I’m currently at and I don’t like it one bit!

I might have to go see the girls at Ingham Travel and plan a well overdue honeymoon – alone, on a secluded island, with unlimited bundaberg rum!

Bring on the 2020 season! Here’s to a more positive, successful, flourishing season in the Herbert River District.

Aquo Xx

Hinchinbrook Shire...

None of us have it together mama – so stop comparing yourself!

This is another write up that hits pretty close to home… for all of us. Every mum these days is trying to be a super mum, trying to make sure your kids are getting enough stimulation – but not too much, making sure they’re eating healthy and are always well, and are well behaved when we go out. But come on, lets face it, all of our beautiful little munchkins are at times are all little assholes that have been sent to test us, to show every other person out there what we’re made of.

That perfect mum, yeah… she’s a myth! I had my first son in 2017 and did everything from making all of his baby food, didn’t allow him to eat anything processed, bathed him everyday from a new born, would clean my floors everyday, took him to playgroup every week, stuck our routine like glue – you name it. I honestly thought “what is everyone winging about? This is easy!” Fuck I was naive!

But seriously, none of us really know what we’re made of until we have two, and I mean go through two separate pregnancies, none of this “oh I have twins, this is so hard, I’m not going back and having anymore” BULLSHIT. You realise it’s going to be so much harder when you have to chase after a toddler, you have to get up every… single… day… because you don’t have a choice. It’s not your child’s fault you can’t keep your legs shut. Haha – You don’t get a chance to rest when you want or need to for that matter.

So… my second bub is 11 weeks old now, I still have a clean house – put bub in baby carrier and off I go – but I don’t look after myself as well. My nails are currently an embarrassment and my hair is so oily we could deep fry chips in it. Yes I do get help because of my disability, but no where as much as I used to so now I’ve adapted to push through and get shit done. Even on my worst days, I make myself get at least one chore and make sure the boy’s bottles are made up.

When it comes to looking after myself, I will always put my health and fitness before anything else. Getting fat again is my ultimate fear! Exercising makes me function so much more efficiently. I don’t get much time to go to the gym at the moment, so I force myself to go walking – even if I have both boys with me. My plan at the moment is get down to a size 10-12 then tone the shit out of my body! #mommystrong

I was searching the net one night – aimlessly and found a site for Mumcations… I thought that would be so awesome! I can see me and my friend now (she has ffff five kids!) It could get rather messy! I would so much rather that than going with my husband. A kidless vacation means no kids… Even the big ones – “Babe I can’t find this” – ummm it’s right in front of you (hits myself in the head).

I have always tried to portray myself as strong, emotionally and physically. I guess that comes with a brain injury – at times you feel people think your “different”. Even though I come across as a cold hard bitch at times, I still have feelings but.

Now, after my second kid I don’t give two shits about any criticism that comes my way, I’ll be over here… doing my own thing. If you don’t like it… well, anyone who knows me well enough knows what comes next. 🙂

Aquo Xx