Aquo's Speel

Finding the hero within…

During times of uncertainty, were not going to find comfort in the news, most social media outlets – I feel we need to grow within ourselves now more than ever and revert back to the simple practices in life. Things like building a small vegetable garden to cut the cost of veggies and essentially the cost of a grocery shop. There are ways and means to create anything you want in this life – You just need to find the hero within, the self drive and determination to never give up no matter what it takes.

I feel that to move forward in a positive way through these trying times there needs to be more self education, whether it be to learn how to build a kick-ass chicken coup (like my husband just built) or to get a certificate or qualification you have been putting off because life became too busy.

We all need to take a step back and slow down with our life’s practices. We need to be reminded of what is and what isn’t important in life. bond with your kids, work on your relationships, on your cooking skills, get that spring clean done you have been putting off for the past two years… the list goes on – be creative!

This too shall pass – the trying times, no matter how bad will blow over, eventually as the world wont stop spinning for anything. Maybe this pandemic has occurred as god’s way of trying to slow us all down, the world has gotten to the point where everything happens extremely fast, I’m not saying it isn’t going to get bad, I’m just trying to live with a more optimistic outlook on life.

Take an unpleasant situation and grow from it, economically and personally. Here’s an alternative way to look at life.

from my heart to yours,

Aquo Xx

Aquo's Speel

Positive & Negative – with a brain injury…

So – so today my depression has me writing this piece in bed. I just had a shower – my first shower in 32 hours. My family are meeting at Rollingstone, and there’s no way I can bring myself to face anyone. I was born into the Sugar Industry in the Herbert and have been Sugar Cane mad ever since, but this year the season has broken me. This season has made me despise the Sugar Industry – amongst other things… and it makes me hate myself because of it. I feel so alone…

My husband has been home 9 out of the last 72 hours and I could cut the tension between us with a knife. The sugar cane season in the Herbert is set to finish over the following weekend and I’m telling you it’s a week too long. I’m all for making a living and working hard but I feel so neglected it’s not funny!

Today (the following day) I went training at Tweak with Louise (my trainer) and she can always put me in a better mindset. Georgia Satellites -Keep your hands to yourself was the first song that came on and it put my head in the game – I worked harder than most times I work out. The angry bird in me wants to come back BUT I wont let it.

This season has taken my head to some pretty messed up places – It got me thinking – There is no way I am the only wife in the industry that this has happened to. It sucks because I FEEL SO FREAKING LOST! I feel – I’m all alone… there’s no one here besides meee…

Yes – my sense of humor is pretty messed up, to the point where my father-in-law dropped in the other day and I said “Your lucky there’s no knives flying your direction!” He kinda gets my sense of humor – more than my husband most times.

Give me a month and I’ll be back on top of the game (of life) again. This is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life, It’s not I had… It’s I have a brain injury and I’m going to have to accept that. My best mate said years ago – “I admire your resilience, the way you bounce back.” Because I ALWAYS DO! BUT – I push myself. I am so hard on myself, I say things like “stop being a little bitch and get your head back in the game!”

This season has me thinking – maybe I’m not cut out for this, and that makes the way I’m feeling 100 times worse – Cause I’m dad’s little operator (well, not anymore) but that’s what my life would of been had I not had my accident. I think there needs to be support for the wives in the industry. Nothing to do with Canegrowers or QSL but maybe Wilmar? I still have to figure it out but I’ll have a chat with some of my contacts and see what we can come up with!

This is not – oh I want to kill myself, It’s actually far from it, and yeah – at times I’m selfish… but I would never do that to my boys if no one else. Shits bad NOW but I think I just need time away BY MYSELF – to get inside my head and reset… on a nice beach… away from this town for a night even… to see how good I really have it!

Stop being a little bitch…

Aquo Xx