Letting go of the things that have hurt you & freeing yourself!

Letting go of the things that have hurt you & freeing yourself!

All of us have been hurt in some way or another in our lives. My story is probably a bit more complex than some others as it all came after a massive, life changing event – not just for me, but my immediate family as well. It’s now almost six years after said event, and I finally have myself in a good place where all those people who used to mean something to me, can no longer affect me – I have chosen to rid my life of them.

I think turning to many spiritual practices like Reiki, meditation etc. has really helped me to overcome a part of my life I thought I would never be able to escape from. In the past five+ years, there aren’t many people still around who I thought would never walk away. It just goes to show how when a major event happens in someone’s life, you get to see people’s true colours, even the ones who walk out after five years when everything has settled down (and to be honest they come across as the weakest ones).

This statement is one which really ‘hits home’ for me

I’m in no way sitting here typing away thinking “woe is me” – I’m much too strong to think like that! What I’m getting to is some people just aren’t strong enough in themselves to deal with the misfortune of others, they’re not true with themselves – that’s why they just disappear, without so much as a “bon voyage!”.

If you hold onto the past you will never move forward and reach your goals. Two years post accident, I started a little notebook – ‘Aquo’s Goals’ and every year between Christmas and New Years I review them and make any changes necessary. This has really helped to keep me on track and keep moving forward. So – why do we hold onto crap that does not benefit our lives in the slightest of ways you ask, well my response to you is quite simple when broken down – It’s because in a messed up kind of way there’s comfort in familiarity and justification, even when it’s stems from negativity.

But, ultimately, not knowing how to let go has no real benefit – it only holds you back from achieving your true potential. Sometimes, we use the past to justify our current decision-making, and that’s the reason why we don’t want to let go. Remember that nasty thing someone did to you years ago? That keeps you from going to that family gathering or from having an extraordinary relationship. Those memories justify everything for you. When you’re unable to let go, that becomes a part of your “story” and works against you, holding you back.

Below is a list of ways I kept my mind, body & soul engaged so that I had less time to stress/worry about the (for lack of a better word) shitty things going on in my life post accident:-

  • I engaged myself with obsessing over fitness and what I was fuelling my body with.

I built myself a small gym and used to work out a ridiculous amount of time a day. When I first moved back to Ingham, I was slow-er moving than I am now, but would do an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. I was very conscious of what I was putting into my body, it took me ages to start loosing weight but once I did, I signed up to my local gym – Tweak Fitness and kept persevering which really helped me to transform.

  • I did a lot of meal prepping/cooking.

I did a lot of cooking & creating. I’m shocking when it comes to using recipes, I don’t use measuring tools – I’m ITALIAN what more do you want from me! I do everything by sight & taste – so I used to muck around with different herbs & spices and create different soups, stews, etc and started a recipe book so I can pass on my awesome creations!

  • I became a whole lot more family orientated – if that’s even possible!

Post accident, my family and I became extremely defensive of each other, and after my brain healed it was easier for the kids to deal with me. We became omg so close! God forbid anyone says anything to anyone when it comes to the six of us – You will most likely get an ear full to say the least.

  • I did a fair bit of gardening.

Gardening became my therapy! My dad made med a garden patch on the side of the house where I started growing vegetables, I would spend hours out there everyday, it was a lot of work and I quickly lost interest. I then bought a garden bed kit that was much smaller that was so much more manageable in my condition. Building it was a really good day, a few of my mates from school days came out to help me build it. Mum still has that garden going today!

  • I started writing a book.

In the early stages of my recovery, I started writing a book, It probably wasn’t a good idea starting it when I did because I was so angry at the time and it turned out to be a big hate fest! That’s part of the reason why I waited to start this blog, I’m so happy I waited, I know I have to get better, but that’s a working progress and will come in time.

You need to learn how to let things go, so that you can focus your energy on living positively and proactively. You and only you have the power to change your story!

Regardless of who initiated the breakup or the reason behind the split, you need to move on. Don’t worry about forgiving them for now. Instead, work on learning how to forgive yourself for getting so caught up in the drama of your personal life and allowing your anger and resentment to hurt you and hold you back.

Learning how to let things go is not as hard as it may seem. It’s true that bad things happen, but you cannot change the past. Continuing to perpetuate it only hurts your own emotional (and even physical) state, keeping you from fully enjoying life. Embrace living in the moment, and accept that there are things you cannot control.

My next tattoo

The key to letting go of a relationship or a painful past experience is that you have to face what has happened, accept that you can’t change it and then move on. Once you’re able to move on and close old doors, inevitably new doors will open up, better opportunities will arise and, most of all, you’ll have a better story that moves you forward, instead of holding you back.

Something to live by

Start writing your new story today!

Aquo Xx

Honesty – The quality of being truthful…

Honesty – The quality of being truthful…

“The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.” 
― Cheryl Hughes

So ‘Your Dictionary’ says that “the definition of honesty is the quality of being truthful.” I believe honesty is the greatest quality you can carry in life, its a massive plus for people to respect you, and really, for you to respect yourself. 

Honesty is going to take you places in life that you never could have dreamed and it’s the easiest thing you can practice in order to be happy, successful and fulfilled. Honesty is part of the foundation of my core values and principles. Honesty cuts through deception and knifes its way through deceit and lies. Honesty leads to a fulfilling, free life.

For myself, I have come to realise that if your not telling the truth, why speak at all?

Honesty is not just about telling the truth. It’s about being real with yourself and others about who you are, what you want and what you need to live your most authentic life. Honesty promotes openness, empowers us and enables us to develop consistency in how we present the facts. Honesty sharpens our perception and allows us to observe everything around us with clarity.

Today, there are so many more shady people out there, you really can not trust anyone, its incredibly rare to come across people that are 100% straight down the line. I don’t know if Ingham has changed, or it’s that so much rubbish has moved here because it’s cheaper to live. But lets face it – Ingham will ALWAYS have small town syndrome, where some old men are worse for chasing gossip than the old ladies. Rumors float around on a constant basis about pretty much everyone, if you haven’t come across a rumor about yourself or your family, just wait your turn.

So many people get caught out cheating – if you want to cheat on your spouse, move to a city where your not known to every Tom, Dick & Harry! it’s pretty simple but, if your not happy, change your situation or leave. Only you have the power to change your thoughts or your thought pattern, don’t hang the blame on anyone else for the way you are feeling – that’s weak. Since my accident, I can’t lie to save my life! Seriously – you will know straight away because I will have a ridiculous smile on my face I can’t wipe off. I have also had to grow up pretty quick to deal with my situation – I’m now acting like an adult whereas before my accident, I was quite childish.

One thing I came across quickly was – if you don’t lie you don’t have to remember all the rubbish you have been going on about. My memory now is pretty much like an 80 year old – not even kidding! I forget everything! A few weeks ago, I went to a Diversity Forum at Tyto and after it was done I went back to speak to my father-in-law about it and my memory was blank! I had to pull out the run sheet, just to give myself some triggers to remember. If you don’t lie you won’t get caught out, it’s pretty simple. 

For myself, becoming the person I am today I am honestly feeling so good in myself! I have been able to let go of my past (most of it) and have started to work on my future. I no longer get caught up in gossip and I feel so much lighter in myself for it! Positivity is key! I try my hardest to be positive about pretty much everything going on in my life now.

Connect with honest people. Find honest friends. Find honest clients. We know they are there but they don’t like to show they are honest publicly. Whereas dishonest people are always trying very hard to show that they are honest. When something seems too good to be true then there is something wrong. So be careful and just enjoy your life. Do good have good and remember,  God or whoever you believe in – is watching everything.

That’s the why honesty is so important in our life. I know you want to say something, then please don’t ignore your great thoughts, share with me by commenting. So other people can also learn from you. The more we try to become honest the better this world will become.

Aquo Xx 

P.S – I found a few some interesting resources on the subject whilst doing my research.

Enjoy Xx

https://blog.owenfitzpatrick.com/the-true-power-of-honesty/

The Power of Honesty: Is It Really the Best Policy?

Organisation – How to live a life that runs smoothly…

Lunches, what your wearing, washing put on the night before. Life seems to run so much more smoother prepping everything the night before and always thinking ahead. Another helpful tip is aiming to be places ten minutes earlier, I’m hardly ever late, it’s awesome.

Know when you will be exhausted and plan around it. I’m always at my best in the mornings and tend to be bloody exhausted by the time the clock hits 4 pm. I plan to have all my housework, errands, appointments and that nights dinner prepped in the mornings so that if I need to have a rest I can before I pick my son up from daycare. It also allows me to have more free time in the arvo to play him.

The days my son is home we have a routine that’s similar to a day at daycare and every arvo I try have him fed and bathed by 6pm so that it let’s my night be over quicker as well. I like to clean up after dinner so that the next day is easier. It’s a hell of a lot quicker and easier if I am left to deal with my son especially when he’s completely lossing it. I won’t stand back when my child is cutting sick and let someone else try do my job, if anything it makes things much harder for me.

Before I hang the clothes out I go to all the bedrooms and collect all the empty clothes hangers. I hang all our shirts, singlets, dresses etc so that they dry quicker and I can put them straight away saving time and energy and cutting my folding down by half.

I find writing lists helps a heap with remembering things like what you need to buy from the grocery store and what jobs have to be done. I’ve got an organisation board in the kitchen which is a cork board I pin all my appointment cards and letters to. There’s a calendar on there as well where I write all my appointments on. I walk past the board numerous times a day so if I do miss an appointment it didn’t make it on to the board. I also have a diary that I write everything in. I take it with me everywhere I go as I prefer to write things down so it burns into my brain.

Because of my disabilities, I have an NDIS plan and because I need much less support than what I used to I get my house spring cleaned once a year, all the jobs I can’t do with my impairments get done. It’s a great feeling when your house is clean. My house is always relatively clean therefore I live a much more organised life because you can always find everything.

My husband bought me a thermomix a few months back and it has changed my life! With one functioning arm, dinners are so much quicker & easier giving me more time to sort everything else out. Not to mention it can do almost bloody everything! Sorbet, meals, bread, butter, you name it! My husband would tell you if there was a possibility I could have sex with it, I would! (And I don’t think that’s far from the truth!)

My head injuries from my accident aggravated my impulse, and because of my memory problems I have had to train myself to be organised. Most days now you wouldn’t be able to tell I have any impairments at all. I don’t have freak outs all the time because I’ve forgotten doctors appointments or forgotten to rock up to something I said I would attend.

Life does just run smoother when you bring organisation and routine into it. You may think “Oh your full of shit.” But seriously, stop being so negative, start trying to be organised, push yourself, and start a routine, even if you don’t have kids – start a routine for yourself. You will start to feel better in yourself and things will start looking up in no time – wait and see!

Aquo Xx

Waking up to a clean kitchen is the best feeling ever!

My magnetic meal planner I use as a trigger for what I need to defrost in the morning

My organisation board, I need to spruce it up a bit!