Trust yourself…

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

Golda Meir

It was back in 2015 that I actively decided that – “That’s it, get up out of bed and stop being a little bitch!” It was at that moment that I came alive again. I started chipping away at self-development, spiritual development and started a bit of self- education.

After finally moving home back to Ingham (which felt like at least five years – My time perception is really bad now #ptsd) I realized how depressed I was. Being the sort of person I am – I was not going roll over and die, I was going re-create a person I was happy to live with for the rest of my life.

I have had to completely rebuild myself, my life. You see – at 21 I had a horrific quad bike accident that left me with a traumatic brain injury and a severe brachial plexus injury which means my right arm barely functions. I’m working so hard everyday to make it work again. I’m getting movement back slowly – my arm was fused, but in future, who knows what medical technology will bring. I know it will work again, maybe just not as good as my left.

I’m riding the education train, trying my hardest to make life easier for my family. I have purpose in my life now – raising my boys and trying to build an empire… It helps that my impulse is currently out of this world and my head is as hard as stone… really… I took on a tree and I won.

“See me, I’m still standing, I may be bleeding, but I’m still breathing” – is a line out of one of my favourite songs back in my high school days…

I can not believe how much you can change your body in a matter of weeks. Since the above size 12 photo was taken (first weekend of March), I’ve dropped heaps more fat and have toned up pretty decent. It took me until the start of March to be comfortable in my own skin, I can finally look at myself naked in the mirror and not scream and run away. OK – it wasn’t exactly that bad… but you get it, right?

One of my friends from high school owns a coffee shop (which makes me really happy because coffee is life!) And I made the comment the other day that if you think about it – this is me being an adult for the first time… at 28, I’m finally an adult. Before my accident, I was still trying to find myself and wasn’t going about it the right way.

Image result for trust yourself

I guess what I’m getting at is we all need to have a little more trust in ourselves and a lot less self-doubt, because at the end of the day I feel, that is what separates those who are successful and those who are not.

Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart.

Aquo Xx

Life as a confident country girl…

I was born – and have lived (bar from a rebellious stage when I left high school and said I was never coming back) – and vow to die in the small country town of Ingham. Sorry to disappoint the haters – but do you really think I was going anywhere without a fight?

Who is Aquo

My two sisters and I were raised to be very confident, very outspoken, not afraid of anything young ladies. Six months of the year mum was a single parent (due to the sugar cane crushing season) and we didn’t have dad there with his old ‘Don’t make her do something she doesn’t want to do’ line so we all become our own versions of strong. We have the queen of Ice Queens, The queen of survivors, and the artistic flare of the family !

Lene, Aquo & Maddy – Aquo’s 21st @ Mission Beach, May 2013

Still to this day when mum wants me to do something I’m not keen on I pull out my ‘my dad said I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do’ line – I’m 27.

It’s really important to teach girls from the time they start to understand the world that no matter what, they are strong. Raise your daughters to be independant and not be the victim of anything that comes at them in life. Growing up will still be a challenge, I suffered from terrible anxiety through school. But as they get the hang of being a young woman, they will come out the other end with a set of balls as big as a bull!

Look at the set on this one!

No but seriously – give your daughters the best tools to become the strongest, most confident version of themself and she will go far in life.

When people ask me how I’ve come as far as I have I say – ‘Well, I wasn’t going to roll over and die. I was given a second chance (Or third or forth, I’m like a cat – 9 lives but we will talk about that another day) so I’m going to tell my story to my whole town, and if I get to tell the world – great!

People need to discover their own superpower. Mine is my strength, my honesty and lack of filter all fall into it but I’m strong. No – I’m fucking strong! You go through what I have in my last 6 years and let me know how you go! And no, that’s not a challenge – so settle down.

I want to become a public figure who promotes my town to ensure there is a town for my boys to grow up in. Ingham is a beautiful place and it would be a shame to see that all fade away.

There comes a time in life when you need to stop requiring validation from others and simply start living your best life.

According to the ‘culture trip’ there are 11 Inspiring Australian Women Who Changed History… I want to be the 12th Australian woman to change history!

Here’s a list of those wonderful ladies!

Wilhelmina (Mina) Wylie (1891-1984) and Sarah (Fanny) Durack (1889-1956)

Edith Cowan (1861-1932)

Evelyn Scott (1935-2017)

Maude Bonney (1897-1994)

Jane Foss Barff (1863-1937)

Faith Thomas (1933-)

Louise Mack (1870-1935)

Nova Peris (1971-)

Elizabeth Kenny (1880-1952)

Gladys Elphick (1904-1988)

Elizabeth Blackburn (1948-)

I would love more than anything in the world to become number 12. I would love more than anything for the list to read:- The 12th Amazing woman who changed Australian history – Amy Shannon Aquilini – Irvin (Aquo)!

And… here are a few sayings I have found through the years that I wrote down that have helped me dig my way out of the darkest bloody hole you have ever seen! I don’t think they are famous quotes – but I apologize if they are and I haven’t referenced them!

  • Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst!
  • Being a strong woman is misconstrued to be evil and ugly – (I want to change that!)
  • Nothing is more impressive than a woman who is secure in the unique way god made her. (I want to be her!)
  • Don’t be the woman that needs a man, be a woman a man needs. (Be your own outgoing self!)
  • Be the goddess who honors her body as the sacred temple of the spirit of life. With each inhale as a prayer of gratitude. (My 1st fave quote ever. That’s why I exercise like the crazy person I am!)
  • Don’t depend too much on anyone in the world because even your own shadow leaves you when your in darkness. (My 2nd fave quote ever! Relating to my darkest time yet!)
  • May your coffee be strong and your heart be grateful! (I love this! There is nothing better in life than that deep breath and exhale after your first sip of coffee in the morning – not even sex! but – sex is pretty good)

Today isn’t a great day for me, I woke up and couldn’t drag my ass out of bed, slowly slowly I got up as my husband was going out the door but I see it like this – I’M STILL HERE! – That is my running song! It gets me so pumped!

I may be sitting here typing as my baby is asleep in the bouncer but I feel I’ve been productive. My kids are fed, they’re clean, I’ve got dinner defrosted and will have it on the table by 5.30pm so no matter when hubby gets home dinner is ready for him to eat. Usually I stop what I’m doing and we sit down together and discuss the days happenings, but if there’s something pressing – i’ll go handle that and the household moves on.

When I lose concentration I’ll go make a coffee and play with the kids. I have all my apps linked to all my devices so if my 2 year old wants a cuddle after a big day, we sit down and put Blippi on tv and i’ll work away on my phone or tablet. Tonight after we have all had a shower I will put our clothes in the wash. Then the kitchen is cleaned and just before I TRY switch off for the night the clothes get either hung up or depending on my day (and how much of a head-f$#k it was) they will go in the dryer.

So guys – that for me is a lazy day, those days where you don’t want to do shit! (and on that note – i’ll go do a 30min sesh of weights… brb.) So I did that and a million ideas come to me while I was working up a sweat but now I sit back down you think I can remember any of them! See I don’t know if it’s scaring from my TBI (traumatic brain injury) or mum brain… but I think every person in the world would benefit from using the app ‘Elevate‘ to exercise their brain so that humans can get back in the lead of the race between humans and computers! or… at least try!

Aquo Xx

Body Image – The Female Perspective…

Your body image is how you perceive, think and feel about your body. This may have no bearing at all on your actual appearance. For instance, it it isn’t uncommon for women to believe they are bigger/fatter than they really are.

According to the Better Health Channel only one in five women are satisfied with their body weight. Nearly half of all normal weight women overestimate their size and shape. A distorted body image can lead to self-destructive behaviour, like dieting or binge eating. Approximately nine out of 10 young Australian women have dieted at least once in their lives.

A negative body image is created over a lifetime from many different influences, including family, friends and the media. And let’s face it… unless we change our thinking, we are all (as us Aussies say it) up shits creek!

It seems most women are looking for that something extra in their lives so that they feel ok in their own skin. I was going to post a questionnaire on Facebook, but I then thought because it isn’t completely anonymous, women either wouldn’t do it because it’s letting their guard down and they feel as if people would have the opportunity to hurt them, or they would lie about it. This is the questionnaire that I was going to post on Facebook:-

  1. Have you avoided sports or working out because you didn’t want to be seen in gym clothes? Yes___ No ___
  2. Does eating even a small amount of food make you feel fat? Yes___ No ___
  3. Do you worry or obsess about your body not being small, thin or good enough? Yes___ No ___
  4. Are you concerned your body is not muscular or strong enough? Yes___ No ___
  5. Do you avoid wearing certain clothes because they make you feel fat? Yes___ No ___
  6. Do you feel badly about yourself because you don’t like your body? Yes___ No ___
  7. Have you ever disliked your body? Yes___ No ___
  8. Do you want to change something about your body?
    Yes___ No ___
  9. Do you compare yourself to others and “come up short?”
    Yes___ No ___

I also put it to you that the most confident women in the world are either skinny or famous. I told you this blogs going to be real! Let’s discuss… Seriously I want to make a discussion on this piece. I’m currently trying to set up a forum so please bare with me!

You should look at the following blog about the 11 habits of a confident woman:- https://projecthotmess.com/11-habits-of-a-confident-woman/

I want to build myself up to be the best, most positive… most successful version of me. I want to build women up – regardless of where they sit on the economical scale because, really – we are all equal….

The following blog lists 20 Affirmations To Boost Your Self-Confidence And Achieve Your Dreams – and you know what… fuck it… I’m giving this everything I have because I believe I am motivated and crazy enough to pull it off. https://evedare.com/blogs/news/20-affirmations-to-boost-your-self-confidence-and-achieve-your-dreams

New studies suggest that cosmetic surgery is on the rise:- https://plasticsurgery.org.au/procedures/surgical-procedures/abdominoplasty/

Is this because women feel as if every part of their body is perfect? I want to know… Do you feel confident in your own body? I know I don’t… but – I’m starting too. I’m the smallest I have ever been in my life but I’m still not happy… Is this because I have visible impairment? but then I think of it… Unless you really look, you wouldn’t notice. That’s the bit I need to remember.

I have recently stopped looking for validation before trying to do something. It used to be my biggest insecurity since my accident. I’m back in the game BITCHES!!! I’ve been doing more soul searching in the last six months than I ever have before and I feel A-mazing! I love exercising because it helps me clear my head and be able to focus and it’s got me growing a nice ass!

I guess when it comes down to it we all want to be what our version of perfect looks like, don’t we???

Image result for confident meme

So before my accident, I would say I was and I wasn’t confident, I was still very young living in a very judgemental town, don’t get me wrong… I love Ingham. I think I love Ingham more than ever now because I’m learning what you can and can’t say around the place and to whom your saying it.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing.” – Mr Mina

I was speaking to a 60 year old woman and we were discussing this topic and I asked her how she felt about her body and she said she felt comfortable once she lost 20kg. It’s an issue amongst females of all ages.

Regardless if your male or female every human being in this god world struggles with their self confidence. It’s just a characteristic that god gave each of us. The best thing I have come across in this life to be as much at peace with myself as I can is by surrounding myself with supportive, positive people. With two baby (um I don’t know if they are human or dinosaur because that’s how both communicate – most of the time) i’m going to say people… It’s harder to plan get togethers and catch ups but you have those ones who won’t be going anywhere and when your ready it’s all good.

Be your own sunshine and you will be fine!

Aquo Xx