Positive & Negative – with a brain injury…

So – so today my depression has me writing this piece in bed. I just had a shower – my first shower in 32 hours. My family are meeting at Rollingstone, and there’s no way I can bring myself to face anyone. I was born into the Sugar Industry in the Herbert and have been Sugar Cane mad ever since, but this year the season has broken me. This season has made me despise the Sugar Industry – amongst other things… and it makes me hate myself because of it. I feel so alone…

My husband has been home 9 out of the last 72 hours and I could cut the tension between us with a knife. The sugar cane season in the Herbert is set to finish over the following weekend and I’m telling you it’s a week too long. I’m all for making a living and working hard but I feel so neglected it’s not funny!

Today (the following day) I went training at Tweak with Louise (my trainer) and she can always put me in a better mindset. Georgia Satellites -Keep your hands to yourself was the first song that came on and it put my head in the game – I worked harder than most times I work out. The angry bird in me wants to come back BUT I wont let it.

This season has taken my head to some pretty messed up places – It got me thinking – There is no way I am the only wife in the industry that this has happened to. It sucks because I FEEL SO FREAKING LOST! I feel – I’m all alone… there’s no one here besides meee…

Yes – my sense of humor is pretty messed up, to the point where my father-in-law dropped in the other day and I said “Your lucky there’s no knives flying your direction!” He kinda gets my sense of humor – more than my husband most times.

Give me a month and I’ll be back on top of the game (of life) again. This is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life, It’s not I had… It’s I have a brain injury and I’m going to have to accept that. My best mate said years ago – “I admire your resilience, the way you bounce back.” Because I ALWAYS DO! BUT – I push myself. I am so hard on myself, I say things like “stop being a little bitch and get your head back in the game!”

This season has me thinking – maybe I’m not cut out for this, and that makes the way I’m feeling 100 times worse – Cause I’m dad’s little operator (well, not anymore) but that’s what my life would of been had I not had my accident. I think there needs to be support for the wives in the industry. Nothing to do with Canegrowers or QSL but maybe Wilmar? I still have to figure it out but I’ll have a chat with some of my contacts and see what we can come up with!

This is not – oh I want to kill myself, It’s actually far from it, and yeah – at times I’m selfish… but I would never do that to my boys if no one else. Shits bad NOW but I think I just need time away BY MYSELF – to get inside my head and reset… on a nice beach… away from this town for a night even… to see how good I really have it!

Stop being a little bitch…

Aquo Xx

Aquo was almost not even a thought… Almost…

My great grandfather Bertie Peri, my great grandmother Carmelina Peri and my grandfather Jack Aquilini and my grandmother Beattie Aquilini went up to Innisfail in the ute to look at purchasing a farm. They stayed overnight in Innisfail where they were ready to do the deal. In the morning when they woke up, my great-grandfather said something wasn’t right and he didn’t think they should go ahead with purchasing that farm. My grandfather agreed with him and they decided to come home to Ingham and forgo the 2000 pounds they put down to secure the deal.

Not long after returning home, Peter Alali rang to say Marcus Johnson wanted to sell his farm on Bruce Highway just south of Ingham. Something told my great grandfather not to buy that farm in Innisfail. Both grandfathers went Down to Mackay with their were looking at buying a produce agency.

While they were away, Peter Alali rang nanna and informed And informed her That Marcus Johnson wanted to sell his farm, it was late in 1960 and nonno and nanna moved into that MASSIVE farm house in January 1961 – nanna still resides there to this day! it’s been remodeled inside since those days, And my father and his brother built a big silver shed right beside it.

Nanna has been alone in that house for the last 10 years nominal passed away in 2010. My great grandfather passed away in 1974 and my great grandmother passed away in 2002. In all the years that Nanna has lived there she has done 37 years of fundraising for the Hinchinbrook Shire. Mainly for the Queensland Cancer foundation and the nurses quest The Endeavour foundation.

So there you go. Aquo was almost not a thought – ALMOST. How much sadder would this world be without me, like seriously!

Aquo Xx

My son – the farmer…

Farming has been apart of Jack’s life since he was born. Both myself & his father, as well as most of his grandparents and some of his great grandparents were also born into the farm life in the Hinchinbrook Shire – Being Townsville Road just past Andy’s Road House (BEST Hamburgers ever!), the Aquilini farm then out Warren’s Hill, Blackrock the Irvin farms. So yeah it really does run in our blood. I believe that’s why I personally, have an enormously large passion for the sugar industry in the Hinchinbrook Shire.

This may be the reason why since a baby he would sit in front of the TV and watch harvesting videos on YouTube and if you were to turn it off – God help you! Whenever we have gone out to mum and dad’s if dad is mowing Jack HAS to go mowing to. Dad still has the little 90 quad bike that he bought my sister and I when I was five years old. It has never been rebuilt and it still has the original tires on it – Jack just thinks it’s the best thing. There is no way I would ever let him ride it himself after everything that’s happened, but I have full trust in my sister and my brother, even though my sister is wayyy too overconfident at times, she’s always safe with Jack.

Jack can tell you what every switch and button does in dad’s harvester (John Deere 3520), he watches everything! He watches where dad’s hands are positioned on the sticks (and sometimes when nobody is looking the harvester mysteriously moves) and he makes sure the elevator flap is positioned correctly. I have no doubt in my mind he could do a full day in the harvester with Nonno. He loves it!

During the sugar cane crushing season, my boys go wild! All I hear is Harvester, Train, Haulout, Train, Bins, Units, Mill, sometimes it drives me insane… BUT I love it! This season when Andrew is in one of the Greaves, I take both the boys for a ride and they both don’t want to leave. It’s pretty cool how we can fit all four of us in there – AND there’s still room.

My dad has had Case Maxi-hauls since the early 2000’s and I’ve always thought they are the ducks nuts, they go faster however there is no way you could fit two adults, a toddler and a baby as well as all the crap you have cart along. AND THERE GREEN! Jack says “Greaves – not a Deere” Deere being for John Deere., it is possibly the cutest thing ever!

Harry is only six months old, but because his brother is, he will probably be sugar industry mad also. I’m unsure what the future holds for Andrew and myself, but he has always just wanted to be a farmer – so I guess that makes me a farmer’s wife.

Aquo Xx

Let’s boost motivation!

It’s that time of year where the sugar cane crushing season in the Hinchinbrook Shire and everyone is getting tired – burnt out! Especially the mums. I’m not saying the dads aren’t in the same position, but their mental stimulation is different throughout the day. This morning my baby is teething and wont stop screaming and my big boy is doing my head in and wont stop crying – over who knows what? maybe because I’m making him draw on paper not the walls…

I would so much rather be in a machine, listening to podcasts that I follow instead of being a bitch mum. I’m tired, they miss their daddy and it shows through their behavior. Somebody taught Jack to say “patients mummy” and if I find out who I would walk up to them and punch them straight in the face.

When I fall into a hole, I search motivational clips on YouTube and it does help to bring me back to earth. As I am writing this, I’m listening to Oprah Winfrey’s motivational speech and already I’m feeling more uplifted than I was when I started typing.

Each morning when I wake up I start the morning with positive affirmations. I started doing it in the mirror but now I just say them to myself throughout the day.

Here’s how I get through the day…

Your limitation—it’s only your imagination.

Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.

Sometimes later becomes never. Do it now.

Great things never come from comfort zones.

Dream it. Wish it. Do it.

Success doesn’t just find you. You have to go out and get it.

The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it.

Dream bigger. Do bigger.

Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.

Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

It’s going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.

Don’t wait for opportunity. Create it.

Sometimes we’re tested not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths.

The key to success is to focus on goals, not obstacles.

Dream it. Believe it. Build it.

If you change your thinking – you can change the world!

Aquo Xx

Welcome to Ingham…

The place where there is more sticks of cane than people – yeah Ingham! My hometown, the place where the sugar industry is 8th largest sugar industry in the world and the place where if you stop to talk to every person you know in Woolworths, you will never leave! We have a population of 4,357 people in Ingham according to the 2016 census.

The world’s Sugar Industry

10 LARGEST CANE SUGAR PRODUCERS
(2016 – in mln metric tonnes, tel quel)
1Brazil38.991
2India24.792
3Thailand9.263
4China9.084
5Mexico6.095
6Pakistan5.616
7Australia4.627
8USA3.518
9Guatemala2.909
10Indonesia2.23

My hometown is the best. We are located in the Herbert River Valley just north of Townsville and just south of Cardwell. We have an awesome 360 view and some of the best barramundi in the world. Our local beaches, the Great Barrier Reef, Wallaman Falls, Hinchinbrook Island, Mungalla Station, Tyto Wetlands, Mercer’s Lane Mosaic, Broadwater National Park, Tyto Art Gallery, Crystal Creek, the must-sees are endless! I have lived in this district my whole life and to date I have never seen Mungalla Station – But I hear Jacob Cassady is doing amazing things for our tourism industry!

I love Ingham, because it is a small town with a passion for all that is homegrown, sustainable and community-oriented. We are famous for our Sugar Cane Industry, our fishing (The brainwashing started in grade 5 from my teacher, Mr Gori), our wog culture, our amazing art and music scene. Ingham is actually home to some wonderful musicians – Joe Geia, Paul Tabone, just to name a few. It’s got a rich history and is also a bit rough around the edges.

I love where I live because of the combination of the laid back lifestyle and the amazing fishing spots. I remember somewhere at the start of 2013, I was asked to go fishing and the fish were going crazy! I was put in charge of making sure we stuck to bag limit. We were fishing for barramundi and mangrove jack that both have a bag limit of five – so ten of each fish… awesome I can do that! Yeah – no. One of the others checked when we got back to the hut and there were 10 jacks and only 9 barras! 9! You had one job missy!

You can drive 20-30 minutes from the main street of town (yes – we have one main street) to almost anywhere in the district. Pretty much any delays to the traffic in this town is due to a derailment (bins full of sugar cane come off the line – sugar cane everywhere!).

Certainly your attitude about where you live makes a huge difference. Ingham is the sort of place where you can walk up to a complete stranger up the street and ask them where anything is – if they can’t tell you, chances are they weren’t born here!

This is why I love where I live…

Aquo Xx

Our Stories – part 1…

My great grandfather Bertie Peri, who’s Italian name was Giovanni Batista Peri (John the Baptist) came out in 1920 when he was only fifteen when he wanted to come out to Australia, but being so young he needed a guardian to travel with him.

Mr Pino Cominadi (whose descendants are still in the Ingham district, as is nonno’s) was his guardian and they came over to Australia together and their first job was cane cutting on the Adam’s and Blackburn family farms at Macknade in the year 1920.

The residents in the Ingham district at the time consisted of a few maltese a few spanish but mostly those with Italian heritage. Those who became cane cutters out at Halifax ended up living in a barracks together. Many stories have come from the Adam’s and Blackburn families especially how nonno loved Mrs Blackburn’s corn brisket and when nonno got married, he took his wife – Carmelina Toirrisi to the local butcher’s and he made sure his wife could make corn brisket like Mrs Blackburn did every Saturday. Still to this day, corn brisket became tradition amongst many families. In 1924, 

One famous story of nonno’s was how Halifax at the time was busier than Ingham And the cane cutters all flocked to  the area and had barracks to live in out there. One day nonno was riding a horse into Ingham when he came across a big suitcase in low grass and he didn’t know what to do, so he hid it better in long grass and didn’t say anything.

He came back to his home, It was a Saturday and he didn’t let on about his findings. On Sunday morning, he made an excuse that he had to go back into town to visit somebody. All the other cane cutters were asking why he had to go back to Ingham so soon after his return.

He said he had to go and went and picked up the big suitcase he had hidden in the long grass which proved to be quite a challenge to get on the back of his horse. He tried many different ways, pulled it up a tree even, and he finally got it up on the back of his horse and he took it into the Ingham Police Station.

When he got there, there was a man sitting there – once he saw nonno he ran towards him, he was a travelling salesman who had lost his suitcase. Nonno took it into the Police Station and they worked out the case belonged to a Mr Stevens – a commercial traveller.

Mr Stevens wanted to take nonno for a beer but nothing was open – Mr Stevens never forgot how nonno found his suitcase. He knew if he took his suitcase back to where he was staying with all his cane cutter mates in the barracks, they would want the stuff he had in his suitcase so he hid it.

I love sitting with my nanna and listening to the stories she has told us from when we were young… I think secretly she was impressed that I remembered some of the story… I love my nan and don’t have much free time but when I do I take the boys to see her. We have always been and will always be close.

Until next time 😘

Aquo Xx

Struggles of a stay-at-home-mum during the Sugar Cane Harvesting Season

So I started writing this article on the 19th August 2019, when the Sugar Cane Harvesting Season had only been running for maybe two months in the Herbert River District, I chose to write a little bit about the lifestyle and the struggles I have as an impaired stay-at-home mum. But, the truth is, every mother, whether they are fully functional or not, whether they work or not, struggle.

My Nonno – Jack Aquilini…

I grew up in a household where it was the norm from the get go. The 2019 season will be my dad’s 40th season, I’m so ridiculously proud of him! I remember mum always taking us places or doing something fun with us – It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I started to understand that it wasn’t just for us, it was for mum too.

This season, my husband has had to push much harder to get things done. That means there’s little time for the boys and even less time for me. This season I’m not handling it very well, which makes me angry because I always knew what the season was all about. I knew that it was going to be hard, I just didn’t expect it to be this bloody hard!

I guess what I’m struggling with most is the lack of communication and conversation between my husband and I. By the time my husband gets home at night, winds down, spends some time with the boys, helps put them to bed, I’m tired…. Nobody likes a tired Aquo… She’s a snappy (for lack of a better word) b.i.t.c.h!

This has been a way of life for generations…

From right back when I could first understand the world, I knew that when the season runs, the wives become single mums. I don’t mean that in a bad way, the season is long hours, mixed with a lack of sleep, mixed with frustration, and the list goes on. The wives do everything with the kids, and that’s really hard work. Hats off to all the single mums out there! I don’t know how I would pull it off – and I have an absolutely amazing support system!

Yesterday I tried something I never had before – I took both boys to Mission Beach with my sister, I just thought about the boys, how much they would enjoy it – I didn’t think of myself and how much a big day like that isn’t the best thing for me. Today, I’m in so much PAIN! I also have the blackest rings under my eyes – My eyes have never been that black before! I’m just lucky my big boy went up to spend the day with Zia and I have an Au Pair here helping with the baby (who was up more than I would like to let on last night) who is teething next level.

I start to wonder what it would have been like if I didn’t have my accident, then I stop myself – Because deep down I know my accident was a blessing in disguise. It has made me appreciate my family and friends so much more as well as life in general. Who knows, living life in the fast lane, I may not still be here to tell my story if my accident didn’t happen.

Our big boy loves harvesting with his Nonno…

It’s not personal, on any level, but more times than not, that’s the way we let ourselves think. I’d love to think, ‘Oh there’s only 8 weeks left’ – haha I wish! not for us! Harvest finishes then the spraying starts. So really, a 6 month season turns into 9 or 10. I do love my own company, but there comes a time where those little voices in my head start to play off each other. Those feelings make me scared, angry, confused, defensive, negative – and I really really dislike being negative.

Sugar Cane Harvest is the only way of life I know, I have always loved it. I really don’t want something I’ve been so passionate about for so long be something I begin to dread. You know that song – wake me up when it’s all over… yeah that’s where I’m currently at and I don’t like it one bit!

I might have to go see the girls at Ingham Travel and plan a well overdue honeymoon – alone, on a secluded island, with unlimited bundaberg rum!

Bring on the 2020 season! Here’s to a more positive, successful, flourishing season in the Herbert River District.

Aquo Xx