Aquo's Speel

This is how…

People ask me all the time – ‘How, how in god’s name do you what you do?!’ – referring to me being a zoo keeper, CEO of our house, building an empire and everything else that comes with it.

I’m not trying to make people feel like crap… that’s the last thing I want to do! I’m trying to show the world that ‘anything’s possible! – but you have to be hungry, like really hungry, starving to want to take control and change your life.’

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This is how I have rebuilt myself. Well – that and the attitude – Ready… Fire… Aim that I have adopted… Every second of my day is planned out. My days start anywhere from 4-6am depending on my time schedule for the day. I have become very disciplined with listening to my body so throughout the day, if I loose concentration etc. I will get up, go do another load of washing, stretch, make a potent cup of coffee, go for a run… Something that will help me to completely refocus – and then I return to doing what I’m doing.

Not every mother can achieve this – AND THAT’S 150% OK! Not every mother has been through a traumatic life event such as myself – essentially that is what has given me this new perspective… this want for a better life, the ‘I’m larger than life… NOT  bulletproof’ attitude.

That stick sticking out of my ass is getting longer everyday… But hey – I put it there. It’s 100% OK because I’m the most real… authentic… most down to earth bird you will ever meet and I own every behavior that feeds out of my being… Even the shit ones… You may not agree with me, and that is also OK… It is a million % OK for people to have a difference of opinion. It doesn’t have to be – “oh they lied” or “That’s not what happened” – no 2 eyes see the same thing and as humans, we as a species do not have the best communication skills…

I’m all about the energy these days! I’ve turned all hippie like… I love my Reiki, massages, being in-touch with my body, etc. It has helped me not overcome my pain – I will always be in pain, the trick I have mastered is being able to not even think about the P word… I have let pain be the driving force behind my purpose.

I wake up in the morning, coffee, exercise (OMG A WEEK AGO I STARTED SEEING DEFINITION OF MY ABS!) then I just let my day pan out how the universe intends it to…  and I attack the most critical tasks that need to be completed. I make sure I’m showered with a clean kitchen before my 10pm bed time – I have a very strict sleep schedule. I’m really lucky in the sense that both my boys now sleep through. It’s all good.

“This determined young woman has taken on board the hand she has been dealt and made it work.” – Nick Dametto MP

ROARRRRRRR!

Aquo Xx

Aquo's Speel

My first ever professional interview…

For more than 10 years Australians have turned to Kidspot to help them solve their parenting problems. I was so excited when Carrol Baker contacted me and asked if I would be interested in being featured for a story with a reach of 3.6 million people! Without question, I agreed and lost lots of sleep over the weekend thinking about it, waiting for the phone to ring Monday morning.

Writing – Annaliese Dent

I would like to thank Carrol Baker from Kidspot for contacting me to do a story on being a mum with a brain injury. Thanks for the laughs! I had fun chatting and discussing how far I have come in seven years.

If you would like to have a read, you can do so by clicking here

It is NEVER too late to be what you might have been, – George Eliot.

Aquo Xx

Aquo's Speel

Positive & Negative – with a brain injury…

So – so today my depression has me writing this piece in bed. I just had a shower – my first shower in 32 hours. My family are meeting at Rollingstone, and there’s no way I can bring myself to face anyone. I was born into the Sugar Industry in the Herbert and have been Sugar Cane mad ever since, but this year the season has broken me. This season has made me despise the Sugar Industry – amongst other things… and it makes me hate myself because of it. I feel so alone…

My husband has been home 9 out of the last 72 hours and I could cut the tension between us with a knife. The sugar cane season in the Herbert is set to finish over the following weekend and I’m telling you it’s a week too long. I’m all for making a living and working hard but I feel so neglected it’s not funny!

Today (the following day) I went training at Tweak with Louise (my trainer) and she can always put me in a better mindset. Georgia Satellites -Keep your hands to yourself was the first song that came on and it put my head in the game – I worked harder than most times I work out. The angry bird in me wants to come back BUT I wont let it.

This season has taken my head to some pretty messed up places – It got me thinking – There is no way I am the only wife in the industry that this has happened to. It sucks because I FEEL SO FREAKING LOST! I feel – I’m all alone… there’s no one here besides meee…

Yes – my sense of humor is pretty messed up, to the point where my father-in-law dropped in the other day and I said “Your lucky there’s no knives flying your direction!” He kinda gets my sense of humor – more than my husband most times.

Give me a month and I’ll be back on top of the game (of life) again. This is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life, It’s not I had… It’s I have a brain injury and I’m going to have to accept that. My best mate said years ago – “I admire your resilience, the way you bounce back.” Because I ALWAYS DO! BUT – I push myself. I am so hard on myself, I say things like “stop being a little bitch and get your head back in the game!”

This season has me thinking – maybe I’m not cut out for this, and that makes the way I’m feeling 100 times worse – Cause I’m dad’s little operator (well, not anymore) but that’s what my life would of been had I not had my accident. I think there needs to be support for the wives in the industry. Nothing to do with Canegrowers or QSL but maybe Wilmar? I still have to figure it out but I’ll have a chat with some of my contacts and see what we can come up with!

This is not – oh I want to kill myself, It’s actually far from it, and yeah – at times I’m selfish… but I would never do that to my boys if no one else. Shits bad NOW but I think I just need time away BY MYSELF – to get inside my head and reset… on a nice beach… away from this town for a night even… to see how good I really have it!

Stop being a little bitch…

Aquo Xx