Follow me… If you want to live…

Good evening you lovely people, how are we? I’m just going to start by saying I am currently on top of the world! – But wait, that will change next week πŸ™„ … So not even a depressive statement, more of a dig at myself regarding the roller coaster ride of emotions I will be on for the rest of my life.

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It is currently 7:30pm on the dot as I am writing this, a little more than twelve hours before this goes live, I’m finding it mega challenging to keep up my online presence but am leaning more towards Instagram at the moment as it can be much quicker. My developing (of my web-page) has come to a standstill as I try and do something with my greatest passion in life (apart from familgia) my fitness! Yes… like, I don’t know… a few million other people in Australia are doing at the moment – I’m studying to become a personal trainer. Yes there are A LOT around but no… nobody has a comeback story quite like mine.

I am so driven that I know I can pull off something great – I don’t know what yet, I currently have no idea what that is BUT I will get there… repeat after me I tell myself (I tell myself everyday because when God was giving out patients I was asleep under the tree) One step at a time!

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My goal for tonight was to find my before photos I took just before Christmas and compare it with now because I’m feeling heaps of differences so I’m guessing others are too! But I’m mentally challenged and can’t remember where I ripped them to on my computer… HAHA! I’m so funny! I crack myself up at times… any idea where I get that from dad? πŸ˜‹ So I guess a comparison isn’t going to be part of this piece… dam it! I wanted you all to see how hard I’m working, so you know there ain’t no wasted efforts here! Plus – I’m too tired! I’m starting to see noises… not really, but you know what I’m getting at right?

You should all follow my pages if you’re not already… You won’t be disappointed plus I’ll make you laugh when you really need to!

Instagram – @aquoblog

Facebook – @aquoonline

Website – aquoonline.com

That’s me for tonight, I was going to smash out some more assessment but my brain has literally just stopped functioning. Over and out!

Aquo Xx

Aquo the conqueror…

People have been asking – “but how are you doing all this?” – this, referring to my blog, maintaining a website, doing a certificate III & IV in fitness AND raising two babies, the answer is so complex I don’t even know where to begin! I’m tireddd…

It’s not that I owe anyone an explanation, I went from being mentally abused for five years and saying sorry for every little thing that went wrong – regardless if it was my fault or not, to knowing my worth and not justifying every action because I feel uncomfortable. It took a bloody long time for the tables to turn… it wasn’t until I was a few years into growing my brand that I felt the weight being lifted off my shoulders. While I’m sitting here I will write what comes to me… which has been hard for all of January (I scheduled a month of posts so I kept my presence over the New Year).

For starters I have two really well behaved boys (even when there being little shitbags), I really was blessed! I mean – Jack sleeps 12-13 hours a night & Harry is up once still but when I go to bed I put a bottle in his cot so he doesn’t wake me… it’s pretty cool – babies are smart miniature humans…

I started my blog as I felt there was more for me in this life than to only be a stay at home mum, I mean, I have a pretty full on story to share with the world, not to mention I’m as blunt as my kitchen knives – which makes for a good laugh… It helps that I absolutly love writing! I started a book on my story which has been put on hold till after I finish my certificate III & IV in fitness.

YES I know, I tried to conqure too much at once… but that’s just it! I’M A CONQUEROR! Yes – I do need to just focus on one thing, smash it out and then move on to the next… HOWEVER – tell that to all the squirrels running around in my head, I mean, Hammy out of Over the Hedge ain’t got anything on me! ANDDD add a brain injury on top… Yeah – people think I’m crazy, but that’s their problem. It’s not my problem how people perceive me.

Oh yeah, back to telling you about what I’m trying to achieve… So I just started a certificate III & IV in fitness and I have a year to finish that and I have a few ideas brewing but they’re not quite ready yet. I’m thinking then move on to nutritional science and furthering my education because like Tony Robbins said – the more that I learn the more I can help people or something like that…

Anyways… that’s a bit about what I AM going to achieve… stay tuned for more!

Aquo Xx

Aquos back b$*ches!!!

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OMG I’m back – TEDx Talks is an amazing organization that’s a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics β€” from science to business to global issues β€” in more than 100 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world.

So – I found my purpose in life – β€œI’m Amy Irvin and I strive to be a positive influence for those with life struggles. By following my journey, (through my blog & social media platforms) I hope readers find the motivation and strength to live a more positive and successful life.”

I dare say that will change a million times over the next few years but currently that’s what I’m working towards. I still feel like I’m lost but I’m taking it a day at a time and working towards being that person.

My goals have changed in recent times, I have recently signed up to start my PT course – so there’s that, I’m trying to work towards eating squeaky clean (no chocolate or naughty snacks) and continue to raise kids that grow up to be decent human beings.

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And so before I finished this piece I had to pick Jack up from school and he had to put all of his toys away – and any others he could see laying around, regardless if other kids were playing with them. Then he got his bag and got his lunchbox out of the fridge and put it in his bag, put it on his back and said let’s go. The ladies looked at me and said “Wow – he’s very independent!” – yeah, because at two he can do these things, he’s like his nonno – born full size!

Aquo Xx

Don't be a little B$^CH!!!

Today, I started my morning so sluggish – I was not always a morning person. In fact, everyone knew me as a bit of a party animal, I loved the night life. In high school, I don’t even remember many nights I went to bed before midnight! It eventually changed when I realized the life-changing habit that is enjoying the morning by going to bed early and waking up early. Especially if their was a harvester or haul-out to go jump in, or a fishing trip somewhere in the Hinchinbrook Shire.

I decided – I’ll put on my active wear (or maybe I was already in it) and rang dad to come in and watch the boys… step one.

Step two was having to order more protein as I was running dangerously low and now I have upped my usage to twice a day…. Hey man – I have goals! So yeah, I was dragging the chain like crazy dad’s looking at me like ‘kid are you even going orrr?’

Step three I dragged my not-so-fat-ass out the front to put on my trainers and I’m sitting there telling myself ‘don’t be a little bitch’ because no matter what I’m doing or what I have to do it pushes me every. single. time – I remember right back to my rehab days having to tell myself that every bloody day to push hard and get stuff done because without being that way there would be no way I would be where I am today.

Step four I got to gym and pushed harder than I ever have before ever! I’ve gone from a speed of 5.5km with an incline of 5.5% on the treadmill as my warm up to 6km & an incline of 6%. I have upgraded from the 45cm block to the 60cm block for my step ups. I can now do 10 inclined sit-ups, however still not 10 in a row, I get to like seven, need to rest for a bit then pump out the last three and I push one, two more till I can’t do it anymore. I’ve upgraded to the 4 & 5kg weights from 2 & 3kg and deeper than deep squats. This is my workout today πŸ™‚ and I did it out the back by myself (it was hottt!) and it didn’t even take me an hour πŸ˜‰

My eating is currently so on point it’s not funny! and I’m seeing massive massive changes happening faster than I ever have before!

It just goes to show it doesn’t matter who you are, if you put your mind to something and believe you will achieve it – there’s a good chance you will! Like Jack says to me ‘patients mummy.’

Aquo Xx

When I fall, I will catch Myself…

Thursday night I did a thing – I broke my dry spell. I’ve gone four months without drinking and did so well! I was on top of the world – now, I woke up feeling like shit but surprisingly bounced back better than I ever had, or what I can remember anyway. I’m so lucky I had no rum here because 3/4 of a 40 would have hit the spot. No training for me today – everyone at the Health Hub probably thought I’ve died…

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It’s safe to say it will probably be another four months before my next blow out – yeah just like everything – I’m all about the go hard or what are you even doing here?! I guess it’s my biggest downfall, it sucks but whatever right? I’m all about owning my shit these days, no ‘god must hate me’ – no – I did it to myself so I have to deal with it. Thank god Jack had school because I couldn’t deal with him trying to kill Harry all day.

I try and look deeper into myself to find answers as to why I slipped of my path to becoming the awesome self-made version of myself – reason being I feel like everything is out of my control and nothing is going my way, then the voice inside my head tells me I’m the one in control of everything, I can make it happen, whatever ‘it’ is.

I’m sure because ‘it’ hasn’t came to me yet is the reason I’m feeling so lost. It’s the reason I went to the fridge and got a few beers out and brought them upstairs. Then when they were gone I went down to the beer fridge and juggled three more and walked up the stairs – because you know, alcohol makes you awesome, I wont fall, or drop a beer. Wait, beer smashes on the ground, back down to swap it for one that hasn’t gone to battle.

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This is exactly how I felt – My brain was fuzzy all day. My speech wasn’t much better than what it was after my accident. I couldn’t find the words I was thinking of to make proper sentences. My anxiety levels were through the roof and I just want to knock myself out and wake up tomorrow ready to conquer the world again because this feeling is utter shit! I just wanted a massive bear hug but I don’t want Andrew to touch me – that’s how lost I’m feeling.

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What I need to understand is that it’s OK. I know I want to take over the world, create a body that is ‘oh my god’ and raise two boys that grow up to be well mannered, kind adults – like my brother CJ. I am so hard on myself it’s not funny – I guess that’s why I have the ‘Go hard’ attitude. It really is all good, I know I’m going to be my version of successful, I just need a change of scenery so that I can get inside my own head and figure out my next move.

But seriously – watch this space!

Aquo Xx

Lost – The feeling not show…

I don’t really know how to start describing how I feel, or what I’m doing – all I know is there is more out there in this world for me. I feel so so lost it’s not funny.

I have been trying to conquer the world, I take a step forward then I feel like I’m shot back another ten, I hate it. the only consistent practices are my boys and health and fitness – Tweak for life people, tweak for life! This morning Harry was up at 3.30am – nope, roll over, back to sleep. Then again at 4.30am – ok, time to have a double shot short black, my pills & a Voost and head to gym.

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Hopefuy today will be a relaxing day, Andrew and I are doing a last minute trip to Townsville kidless! Wahoo! Party! Haha I wish! But no 😦 Mum is running something similar to daddy daycare today – Jack & Harry, their cousins and mum’s friends with kids, Jack is such a handful at the moment I’m hoping the extra simulation wares him out! Doubt it- he’s like an enigizer bunny on steroids… like really high tech steroids, it’s exhaustimg!

I was talking to one of my dear mates the other day and told him “I’ve pulled my big girl pants up and stopped being a little bitch about life…. I figure I’ve been through a fuck load worse to let everything turn to shit…” and you know what – this is just god testing me to decide what path he is going to send me down next. God has given me life, sent me to deaths door to wake me up, and brought me back to achieve greatness.

God I surrender, I will no longer try so hard to conquer the world, please guide me to the right path you choose to send me down. And please, please stop Jack from going all W.W.E on his baby brother… I’m so worried, I can’t leave Harry alone at all when Jack’s awake – I’m pulling my freaking hair out! Jack has absolutely no remorse for anything he does wrong – sounds familiar, have you met his mother? I send him to the ‘thinking corner’ – nothing, smack him – nothing. Yet when his father is around he’s nowhere near as naughty as he is for me! It’s like I’ll I do is try to get through the day so I can fall asleep and do it all over again.

The only thing that is a must in my day is an hour at least at the gym and for that to be it is shit. A note to myself:- Amy settle down, breathe, go to JK’s for a coffee, chill! Just keep putting along and keep doing what you love… everything else will follow.

Like Jack says – “PATIENTS MUMMY!”

Aquo Xx

Toddlers – like a blender you have no lid for…

Today is the start of a new decade – 1st January 2020. I woke up this morning more drained than usual – I have gotten into the routine to get up by 5am and going to the gym for an hour. This morning I thought I would start off doing the right thing (omg shocking right?!) my body needs a break so I rolled over and slept in till 7.23am. I then got up to a rather loud house – “Andrew I need coffee.” I am so not a morning person but can surprisingly get my ass out of bed at 5am and get to the gym by 6am, go figure.

My two year old made me put Blippi songs on, which I’m cool with because it’s all life skills he’s learning. He turns to me when the ‘months of the year’ song comes on and started singing it. I told him that his birthday is in June he looked at me and said “Yeah, I’ll be five.” – Ah nah bud, three… It went back and forth till he lost interest and it got me thinking…

Don’t wish you were older – ever! I was the youngest of all my cousins and always wanted to be older… I ended up doing questionable things to try make myself feel older, I don’t regret anything I have done in my life cause it made me who I am today. One of my friends once told me “All you can do is try be the best mum you can be.” I am so grateful for that statement, it has made me stop and think before creating some monstrous shitstorms!

Recently, I’ve really started to find the person god put me on this earth to be – and you know what? – I love the shit out of her! She’s a pretty amazing human being. A better mother, a better friend, a better daughter, a better wife, you name it. I’m actively trying to be the change I wish to see in the world and I have started to see it happening all around me. It’s pretty wonderful actually.

Don’t wish you were older… EVER!!! Just let it happen, find your WHY in life and try your best to be the most confident, kindest version of yourself you can possibly be.

Aquo Xx