Winston Churchill’s 12 word definition of success…

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

I have always felt that I have never actually seen anything through in my life – until I had my accident. When Andrew and I first got together, I started a certificate three in Business just to see if I could actually do it. I remember being out at the farm in the office with my mother-in-law stressed out and feeling like I was going to throw in the towel! when she sat me down and repeated the speel I made about never feeling like I have accomplished anything fully, it put my head back in the game. I went from feeling as if I would give up and be done with the course to finishing the rest of the course much quicker than I had to.

To say I have never seen anything through is an untrue statement. To me, the things I am proud of accomplishing are things you have to work hard for – have to work really hard for, I’m talking blood, sweat and many, many tears!

My thing at the moment is wanting to look like this –

And I’m not talking hot AF… no sirey!

I’m talking STRONG! The definition of strong according to dictionary.com is – having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscular power; physically vigorous or robust.

I would eventually love to start boxing. There’s just something about boxing that keeps me focused… maybe because it refocuses the angry bird in me haha. I did think of body building but I spoke to a few ladies who advised against it as it messes with your mindset. With a brain injury I will never be able to deal with all the mental pressures that come with it, and I’ve accepted that – now moving on.

I believe I’m quite a resilient person, and this shire (the Hinchinbrook Shire) needs more people like that. I love this place – but there is so much NEGATIVITY! and that needs to change. People need to start making time for their friends and family, when you have a spare hour (like seriously where???!!!) somewhere in your fortnight or month, take a walk on the beach, in silence, to process your thoughts and regather yourself. It was hard for me at 1st to go for a walk in silence, but now I love nothing more then the sand between my toes, the wind blowing through my hair and becoming in touch with the world around me.

According to the experts, it takes about 21 days to break or form a habit pattern of medium complexity. Habits which are more complex or difficult to incorporate with your lifestyle may take longer.

So you’re all probably wandering where I am going with all of this, but I have been trying to live my life as positively as I can as of late – I couldn’t even tell you how long it has been for. However, I know in my heart, that this is how I want to live the rest of my life. I am trying my hardest to live my best life so that I will be here for as long as I can be for my boys. That to me is success.

Aquo Xx

Let’s boost motivation!

It’s that time of year where the sugar cane crushing season in the Hinchinbrook Shire and everyone is getting tired – burnt out! Especially the mums. I’m not saying the dads aren’t in the same position, but their mental stimulation is different throughout the day. This morning my baby is teething and wont stop screaming and my big boy is doing my head in and wont stop crying – over who knows what? maybe because I’m making him draw on paper not the walls…

I would so much rather be in a machine, listening to podcasts that I follow instead of being a bitch mum. I’m tired, they miss their daddy and it shows through their behavior. Somebody taught Jack to say “patients mummy” and if I find out who I would walk up to them and punch them straight in the face.

When I fall into a hole, I search motivational clips on YouTube and it does help to bring me back to earth. As I am writing this, I’m listening to Oprah Winfrey’s motivational speech and already I’m feeling more uplifted than I was when I started typing.

Each morning when I wake up I start the morning with positive affirmations. I started doing it in the mirror but now I just say them to myself throughout the day.

Here’s how I get through the day…

Your limitation—it’s only your imagination.

Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.

Sometimes later becomes never. Do it now.

Great things never come from comfort zones.

Dream it. Wish it. Do it.

Success doesn’t just find you. You have to go out and get it.

The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it.

Dream bigger. Do bigger.

Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.

Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

It’s going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.

Don’t wait for opportunity. Create it.

Sometimes we’re tested not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths.

The key to success is to focus on goals, not obstacles.

Dream it. Believe it. Build it.

If you change your thinking – you can change the world!

Aquo Xx

WeeorWeOrWeOr…

Another trip to the ED department, fml…. we’re lucky my father was finished cutting for the day and my husband wasn’t far away. I suffer nerve pain on a daily basis – but today OH MY GOSH! I have never been in this much pain and wanted to vomit like this, just at the sight of being awake and living through this.

This is just a taste of what I go through on a daily basis. It’s the same shit over and over and over. The same questions are asked by the ambulance bearers, then the same questions again from staff in the emergency department and then again from the nurses. I know, by now all the trigger words that will get me what I want, but the thing is I’m not even playing! I WISH – I was playing. I would much rather be at home with a screaming baby and a toddler who has been pushing on the wrong nerve all day. Yeah – that would be tons better than being here.

Green whistle please! Megan the ambulance bearer knows me quite well – she attended my quad bike accident, my car accident, or we see each other shopping or at the annual race meet – which is more of just a formal piss up. I feel she understands me better than most – “But Megs you know I’m not a little bitch hey?!” “Amz it’s all good buddy!” Not my first rodeo. Anyone may just think this is my way of catching up with her lol.

Ketorolac Trometamol (Torodol) is the only thing, I have found on my journey to hell in the last six years, that actually works for me. The nurse that tended to me first last night suggested endone, but little does she know they are nothing more than a tictac to me – And no I don’t have any stashed away at home. Over time, do you know what that shit does to your body?? – yeah, no thanks!

I made the conscious decision back in 2015 to start making healthier lifestyle changes to better myself – mind, body & soul. And you know what? It’s the best decision I ever made! I’m finally becoming more confident in myself (four years later) and I’m ready to push to the next level and create a piece of art, not just the body of my dreams.

You know the chronic pain I live in, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy! It’s absolute hell. THIS IS THE REASON I WAKE UP EVERYDAY AND TRY TO BE THE MOST HONEST, POSITIVE, CARING, friendliest, SUPPORTIVE HUMAN BEING I CAN BE! Look, at times it’s hard – believe you me! But I wake up everyday thankful that I get to spend another day with these beautiful little gremlins I created – Regardless of how batshit crazy they send me!

I WONT QUIT! I WONT ALLOW ANYONE TO BRING ME DOWN, I AM ME – I HAVE MADE MISTAKES, DONE STUPID SHIT, I SAY FUCK A LOT – BUT IF THAT’S THE WORST OF ME, I THINK I HAVE REBUILT A PRETTY AMAZING HUMAN BEING!

Aquo Xx

Information overloaddd…

Trying to teach myself all this WordPress, insta, Facebook, writing, photos, Pwoh! it’s extremely overwhelming at times but I refuse to give up and say I couldn’t do it! I’m struggling to keep a household together, especially with my husband working 18 hour days, seven days a week. My two-year-old has now turned into somewhat of a figure that depicts Hitler. On top of that, my baby who is now six months old, has started chucking the biggest tantrums known to man.

I usually go to Lourdes playgroup on a Tuesday with my mum and the boys, but today is just too bloody hot and I so need to wash my hair – it is disgusting. So I had the nicest shower and washed my hair while my baby cried himself to sleep because I just can’t do this anymore today. I put on the most comfortable pair of tights I have in the most comfortable bra imaginable and I’m pretty set for the rest of the day.

Whoever said that this adult shit was a good idea needs to be shot!

But – I have a plan, I have decided to be a bit quieter until the New Year, then come back bigger and better than the past two years. Yeah – I have actively been trying to make a difference for the past two years and people are just starting to notice. At the moment, it’s just too hard to keep trying to manage teaching myself anything blogging, writing, Facebook, run a household and keep my boys from trying to light the house on fire every single day. Instead, I have decided that this would be the best way to move forward as my mental health is the most important thing to myself and to my family.

SLOW DOWN AND THINK ABOUT IT!

Everybody needs to watch this clip!

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close

Aquo Xx

Shredded AF…

Around the start of the sugar cane crushing season I started training back at Tweak Fitness – the only place to be… with Louise Doughty and phoh! does she push me hard or what! But that’s what I want, I don’t want to be this nice piece of ass (for a lack of a better phrase). I want to be strong! I want to get shredded and create a piece of art.

It’s incredible what you can achieve with your body if you put your mind to it. Before my accident I didn’t take much notice, half the time I couldn’t keep track of my period – but now I have educated myself through the internet and reading and have started living consciously… with everything.

The other day I wore bikinis for the first time since I was 17! And you know what – my body looks better than what it did at 17! I am so incredibly proud of myself – This hasn’t been a year long adventure for me, it has taken five years. FIVE YEARS – People usually get to ten months and give up. What can I say – The only reason I’m still here is because I have a bloody HARD head!

It is the best feeling deep down FINALLY being happy in my own skin.

Today I am not in a very good head space, and that reflected in my workout. Louise pushes me hard, but I want to be pushed hard. At the moment, I am trying to be the most positive person that I can be but that is all slipping away very fast with everything that’s going on. Working out is the only thing, I feel, that keeps my mind from going back to dark places. BUT – that will be a forever journey for me living with a brain injury. Thankfully, we are about four weeks away from the end of the sugar cane crushing season -alleluia! This season was hard, for everybody, it’s definitely not like it was 10 or 20 years ago – the sugar is just not there, lack of diversification etc.

Today was one of those days where we finish all of our sets, but I didn’t want to stop, I had so much built up anger that I could have pumped out another three hours – I didn’t want it to end. Louise is helping me create a machine – and you know why I want to do this, I will prove all those chaps wrong, the people that say “there’s no way she can’t do it!” I told Louise, that I will be her little guinea pig and we are going to create something awesome! This is the only thing, that I feel, is for me at the moment, the only thing that keeps me from going bat shit crazy.

Since having my accident, I have proven everyone wrong, with everything and it makes me feel powerful – NOT invincible. The reason I push so hard is because there is always somebody worse off! Check out this video of Andy, this bloke is incredible!

Here are some other articles I have written in the past about this topic:-

Body image – the female perspective

How I rebuilt myself – Aquo 2.0

I’ll keep you all posted – you DEFINITELY haven’t heard thee last from me regarding this topic.

Until next time…

Aquo Xx

Maraka Festiveal…

This year marked 60 years of the Maraka Festival in Ingham at the Rotary Park in the Hinchinbrook Shire so I thought I would take my boys down to the end of the street to watch the procession. They were both so well behaved which made it easier and Jack made some new friends – he’s usually alone dinosaur.

The procession was awesome! some awesome tunes played – I can’t wait till my boys are old enough to go on their school float! I don’t understand the random cruisers and patrols in the procession though? I get all the hotted up cars but if there’s utes in the procession don’t they have the Maraka queens and princesses on them?

I didn’t get one photo! ME who takes a million just to make sure there there for all of maybe half hour! BUT we had to go play on the swings on the way out, which we can do all the time haha.

So I was hoping this was going to be a write up on the event that would cop a million hits… But that’s just not the case sorry peeps!

It’s 8.00pm now and I’m sitting on my veranda listening to the festival and watching the fireworks. I’m contemplating walking back and getting ravs (My favouritist food in the world ever) and like a dozen canoli (like my second favouritist food in the world ever), but I’m sitting here thinking both my boys are FINALLY asleep and I’m not going anywhere!

So I made a tea… more like a rum and coke… Watched the fireworks and listened to the tunes pumping and went to bed. There’s always next year, and I promise if I’m able to there will be 20 million photos and a pretty smashing write up to boost our shire!

Aquo Xx

I’m not your everyday superhero…

I’m at the stage in my life where I’m taking on Ingham to make it a better place for our future generations, for my boys. It’s just not good enough at the moment. We have to work together, not against each other, for our kids – for the greater good! The biggest challenge for me has been starting a business from the ground up, after recovering from a brain injury.

I try and be as organised as I can – calendar, notes everywhere! This enables me to accomplish as much as I do in a day. I set three blocks – morning, Lunch & afternoon. I try my hardest to have every subject I need to attack that day in order that they need to be done. Morning might say something like ‘draft email to x’ and I can do that on the couch while the boys are jumping over me bouncing off the walls with excitement – ‘I excited I excited’ because giggle and hoot has just started for the day.

I know people around the place look up to me, but I’m not your everyday superhero – I am just a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, etc. Yeah – I HAVE been through a lot of shit, but that now, seems like a distant memory. Well, not even that because I keep all of that in the rear view! It’s better for everybody like that – and I’ll just be here, doing my thing, always looking forward!

All of my experiences have made me a lot more humble with my outlook on life – and that’s a god thing! I’m going to make Ingham a place where our kids are going to want to grow up!

I absolutely love the following quote from Mother Theresa!

Aquo Xx